HORRORSCOPE, Stars

Bisque Boy 5000

aries

March 20th –  April 19th

It’s Sunday, your housemates have all gone to Church, and you would like to spend some time with your beautiful body, 40% of which you lost when you fell into a tank of kraken at the aquarium last year.

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Features, Shitegeist

Zodiac Application Form (apply within)

Another week, another person crawling out of the shadows of anonymity to claim intimate knowledge of San Francisco’s Zodiac killings. In fact, the flavour of the last ten years has been to implicate a deceased family member. It’s easier that way. You don’t get community service for wasting police time, and uncle Mike who dropped his trousers in your parent’s garage gets to be the bad guy for once. Drop in a couple of unsolved sexual assaults and the guy’s feathers start to look real tarnished.

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