HORRORSCOPE, Stars

Bisque Boy 5000

aries

March 20th –  April 19th

It’s Sunday, your housemates have all gone to Church, and you would like to spend some time with your beautiful body, 40% of which you lost when you fell into a tank of kraken at the aquarium last year.

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HORRORSCOPE, Stars

The Stars and You – 7/2/14

Did I ever tell you about the time I was struck by lightning and imbued with incredible supernatural powers that serve as both a gift AND a curse? Maybe not, I tend to keep it quiet. Truth is, I’m keeping my story for a rainy day, and that “rainy day” is an unfinished screenplay on my computer entitled ‘His Brilliant Gift?’

Cool, huh. You think you have a grip on the title and then… the question mark. Is it a brilliant gift?

Without getting too far ahead of myself, it’s gonna eventually be a whole thing. Probably with Tong Crewse and Laurens Fishbon in supporting roles.

So, yeah, I have a gift, and sometimes I like to use it!! Here are this week’s horoscopes, or as i call them – ‘YELLAHOLESCOPES’.

(I don’t fucking call them that) Continue reading

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